glass-bottleD

2011-11-23T20:51:00.005+08:00

things have been in a sense been alot better after the affirmation i got from the job

yes finally i have a job

i guess maybe i used to beat myself up alot about stuff

i always felt i sounded funny (short tongue haha ='( )

always felt i tripped over my words too easily

always too rehearsed and caught off guard most of the time

so when this quite rare job opportunity came about

i guess it pretty much made me feel that maybe i just dont give myself enough credit that i actually should

patspats good job belicia

hahaha

anyways! cheerleading has been well...

a mix of good and bad

sometimes i surprise myself

sometimes i dont surprise myself (i find myself falling from the stunt)

but i guess its just motivates me even more

interesting note: my pwc interviewers were endlessly amused by the fact i was in cheerleading. in fact i did think that they didnt quite take me very seriously after that. but somehow, i guess it was memorable? HAHAHA.

shall continue fighting for the really strong core and the flexibility =D

shall paste a photo here for motivation that I CAN DO HIGHER LEVEL STUNTS DEN THIS!

RAWR

and i purposely choose the very chui one which evidently shows i got lazy legs (means leaning more weight on one leg) to remind myself to stop KILLING MY BASES =(

hahaha.

another interesting thing to note is i found a doppelganger!

see!

to which my unsympathetic friends said, "see bel. u can be pretty if you upgrade your fashion sense" HOW NICE

and finally on the brightest note of all....

IM GOING TO USA WITH MY FAT HUNNY BUNNY!

disneyland,

vegas,

coach coach coach,

kate spade kate spade - damm u dont judge me. i dont take bimbotic photos with my kate spade bag,

LOADS OF MAKEUPPP - yes i know i have been lazy i haven been putting my damm makeup but IM ADDICTED TO HOARDING THEM! and i finally get to change my 2 year old mascara - i wonder why im not blind yet

loads of skincare - my skin looks like a kid going through puberty dammittt

walmart!! - i studied you for all my casestudies im going to go to a walmart and shop the necessities out of you

yes. peace. i will now work my ass off like a dog to make sure i can shop like a lunatic there

i always have strong ing ann to carry the loot <3 <3 <3

2011-10-30T23:24:00.002+08:00

there are certain things that just resonate like a ringing bell within in

making u believe its possible to turn back the clock

only den do you snap back to reality, realising that it would never be the same

i really wasted my 3 years in hall

building friendships that i destroyed

and building my hopes high for relationships that didnt last

2011-10-28T14:53:00.002+08:00

dont know whether ull ever read this but

well its been 1-2 years of memories

there are things that i absolutely abhor about u

and memories that will always stay with me

remember i said give us time and it didnt happen?

and now when the wounds are finally beginning to seal

well, lets just say, it isnt the same

i will always remember u as a friend that i was absolutely dependent on who pushed all my wrong buttons and yet, in a way, thank you for everything

on to brighter side!

absolutely love cheerleading =)

just love the enthusiasm of the girls and guys! and especially my new found base - ZHENGGUANG! thank you for always stunting with me =)

lets just the toss to hands right =)

im not faring too well in aces! but im glad i went there cos it made me a lot more determined as a person to try harder in what im passionate to achieve

and im going to learn dancing too! from gloria!

super excited!

FINALLY I CAN LOOK SEXY PLS =P

now i got the slim tummy i should go dance all the slutty kpop dances (HAHA i can see shuyi's gaping mouth at this comment)

and im going to play darts

OMGOSH i can round the clock pls

HOW AWESOME CAN

i never did round the clock EVER

and im going get the 6 packs outline

GYM GYM GYM and INTERVALS!

fit belly for the win =)

thank you for always being there for me my fat cupcake ingann, zhuo hao, vanny tanny and many others! u make me feel like being upset is not an option =)

2011-10-27T19:19:00.001+08:00

well at least i tried =)

u were right. theres no such thing called platonic friendship.

now its time to really just move ahead

2011-10-26T22:53:00.003+08:00

there are certain periods of my life i miss

certain periods of my life i wanna erase

if only certain memories werent so painful

until today i still wonder why you had to ruin it all

2011-10-23T00:03:00.002+08:00

i finally understand why people in aces crack under pressure
i finally feel it now

the feeling of starting off supposedly more experienced

yet being surpassed so easily

the feeling just sits so heavily in ur heart that it beginning to hurt

every day you try to train that little bit more

but u start to wonder whether its even enough

and even if u begin to ache under the intensity

you wonder whether it really brings you results

it sucks to be the worst

but i just never imagined it would hurt this bad

theres so much that has to be done that hasnt yet been done

yet the only thing now thats really on my mind is

am i really trying my best? is this really my limit?

sometimes i think it is

and maybe im just not good enough for it

2011-10-14T10:01:00.002+08:00

i hardly have time for myself

life begins with a blur

somehow starts with my cheerleading training

and somehow another day begins again

joined the school cheerleading team

something i guess i always wanted to try but never thought i was up to it (im still not quite there)

but my coach told me to just go for it and mentioned im not that for no reason

so despite my clumsy falls and inability to get the stunts up

or even the ability of stretching

somehow i stuck around

hoping that i will magically improve

trainings are fun

but they suck every bit of life force out of u

i never understood how cheerleading could be tiring but now i do

so much changes in my life style to perform and so much more self improvement to do

i'll get there. somehow. cos for the first time in my life i think i actually want to fight for smthing

2011-09-11T15:24:00.000+08:00

dont waver under pressure.

be better den yourself.

i need to be WAY better den myself now.

2011-07-13T22:13:00.002+08:00

random ramblings of a bored intern

i think about it sometimes

im going to be a lousy mum

first. i dont have talents

i see those mummies who can play badminton or even table tennis

me? i have trouble even hitting the ball over the net for table tennis (wait i cant even serve) and i never get the backhand for badminton

i cant do musical instruments. i contribute that solely to my daddy and mummy. they didnt have that sort of talent.

im tone deaf. so i cant sing

im not even good at running or swimming which practically everyone can do

2nd im good at mugging

who likes a geek. as a mum. double whammy.

3rd im not a hot mummy - i suppose since im having wrinkles already

THEY WONT WANT ME AT MEET THE TEACHERS SESSION *WEEPS*

4th my sibling is boring

everyone HAS cool uncles. my brother is boring.

ok maybe being a bachelor means he has more time to play with them. otherwise he is boring.

5th no one wants to be my child's godmum/dad YETT!

hoowwww! i always imagined that if i can have godparents, my kid will have them

unfortunately everyone speaks of my kids in horror

shuyi says she cant imagine little belicias.

6th my parents are as boring as me.

they have boring parents and boring grandparents

i weep for my kids.

haha. this is a ridiculous entry but it makes me smile and feel sad all at the same!

2011-07-11T22:39:00.001+08:00

workout = lose more weight = feel more fit = look more energetic = can fit into clothes = no need to sell clothes = save money

so please belicia, start working out =(

2011-05-25T21:59:00.005+08:00

sometimes i think ing ann is mad. i really think he is.

before he got attached to me, he got me pudding (that sad looking bear on the left which i didnt love very much becos hes not as cuddly as my big bear)

i asked him one day how much did he cost cos he complains i dont love it that much

he told me 60

i almost died. i rather have the 60 dollars

kidding la.

anyway cos im so upset with work. im going to do a stupid entry on this obsession me and ing ann has

collecting toys

from the left - pudding (the grey unhuggable bear), bear (from fren), chubby (small version of the white cupido), cupie (the real deal - cupido), stupid lion (cos ing ann thinks he looks stupid and he always get stuck at the side of my bed for some reason. got him at cy bday party), my lovely bear bear

my anniversary present! i call him puchingko! ing ann loves him to bits. he embarrasses himself everyday in front of my roomie by baby talking to it

new addition from taiwan! calling him puchie!

hahaha. i once called ing ann fat chick cos i saw this epicly adorable photo of a chick frantically flapping its wings but it was too fat to fly. somehow the fatness reminded me of ing ann. so there.

anyway so when he went to taiwan he saw a fat chick

and he promptly went to catch it and now its mine =P

sometimes i feel i have no space on my bed cos my toys take up too much space. lol

2011-04-30T00:52:00.002+08:00

happy bday my fat thing!

even though ur bday present and celebration was so practical and predictable (cos you threw a childish tantrum when i didnt want to tell u what im giving u) and safe

im glad u enjoyed every bit of it =)

thank you for the ride

i still recall celebrating ur bday with school cheesecake my gosh

CHEAPO XX CAN!

still! lets celebrate many more bdays together u old fat blob! ^^

2011-04-27T23:56:00.002+08:00

seriously. people think they know so much about politics.

honestly.

you pay for what u vote

make sure u stick with ur decision for 5 years and dont complain about what you get

people get easily swayed by short term failures

im not saying opposition is BAD

im just saying, short term failures is not going to be corrected by uncertainty

it might be

but it is not for certain

cos dont u dare complain when the result is out and u start wishing for the old days cos u vote for what u get

what the opposition has done so far is to nitpick

they have come up with plans

but they focused more on nitpicking

i must say its damm bloody smart

cos they have no track record

but honestly some results please?

if u show me u can do it i will vote

and just by reading opposition writings doesnt make u more knowledgeable

it just makes u more biased

thank you very much.

2011-04-09T22:33:00.002+08:00

everyone is having their happily ever that sometimes u tend to rush into it as well

i quarrelled with poor little ing ann over the most irrelevant thing

getting a house

HAHAHA dont judge me ok

im most of the time REASONABLE and NICE to my bf ok?!

anyhows, you know the HDB fever has gotten into all couples recently

or maybe so for my cousins

so i thought maybe i should talk to him about it

bad choice

somehow i think even though he thinks hes super mature and far sighted

he is quite jialak like me

me, i just follow the crowd

so not quite a good combination when ure trying to talk about the future

i guess despite all the widespread notion that happily ever after has to end with getting a flat, getting married yadayadayada

i dont think it really applies to us

at least not in the near future

i still enjoy our immature talk with each other most =)

happily ever after happens when u probably least expect it =)

on a separate note. i just realised i only knew ing ann for less den a month before dating him! OH MY GOSH! whatever happened to the unstated 1/2 getting to know ur future partner rule? whatever happened to thinking before u date a person?! i'm half horrified half amused.

lol but nonetheless its nice having ing ann around =)

2011-03-27T02:25:00.002+08:00

sometimes dwelling on it a little longer makes me find that maybe sometimes friendships are a little less fulfilling now

we are just sometimes more interested in other stuff

just a little random thought that has been circulating in my mind for a while

2011-03-19T11:36:00.002+08:00

haha. i felt inspired to blog again today.

anyway. a great deal of stuff has happened.

i guess firstly was the internship. it was a period of downness i guess

cos it was a bit like i didnt really know what i wan

i didnt dare to try anything

and the only one i tried for felt rather lousy

BUT

god is good. he gave me grant thorthon which was really my first choice for auditing companies

haha. but man is greedy right.

i had offers from standard chartered and KPMG in the end

i was like... hmm. actually i really wanted the bank and KPMG.

lol. but i guess things happen for a reason? so well. im just looking forward to internship anyhow!

anyway. cheerleading. i guess i haven really talked about it for a while.

smhow i dont feel as lousy as i was before already.

there was a period of time the feeling was quite sucky

cos i was neither strong enough to be a really good midtier

nor light or short enough to be a flyer

so basically i didnt have much to do in cheer

but now its really alot better cos i feel im finally gaining the confidence to do the stunts

and kerry allows me ample opportunity to try out the group stunts

so basically i get to learn all the group stunts!

yay!

anyway im pretty much quite tired out this week!

keep cheonging work like crazy!!

haha! its bad that i cant live with mr yeo ing ann either!

so we ALWAYS go out. hurhur.

so now im cheonging my work. ERGH!

wish me luck for my xiong week ahead!

2011-03-17T16:15:00.004+08:00

i shall post a fuyan blog post!

haha. this is another epic food hunt that ing ann and I (SEE I GOT IT RIGHT THIS TIME) has been addicted to....

RAMEN!

this is midnight ramen at orchard plaza. very good and quite affordable! the NOODLES IS JUST ZAI! u absolutely have to try the cold ramen. it was my first try! i loved it! but i just basically dont really like cold stuff as meals. so i didnt finish it. but it tasted so heavenly ok!!

This was IPPUDO. this is the ramen i had. i must say that it was not as good as the one below! super zai. the soup is revolutionary. once u eat it, u will know how crappy ajisen ramen is!! i wonder how people ever stomach ajisen!! its so bad! i used to think ramen were all bad cos of ajisen. but after ippudo i changed my mind.

IPPUDO - if u dont try it, u haven tried ramen.

This is santoko at central mall. SUPER GOOD. mega pricey though. its pricer den IPPUDO! but the servings are generous! I took the shio one and ing ann took the miso. miso is thicker. shio is more refreshing. depends on ur preference. but what u definitely have to try is the pig cheeks! i usually dont take the meat for ramen cos im super fussy over my meat! but this. THIS WAS THE ONLY EXCEPTION!

ok. i shall try more ramen soon and let u all know. lol

2010-12-24T21:07:00.004+08:00

i haven blogged in the longest!

anyhows! i decided that i should blog about smthing that i would look back one day and laugh on

so its about me and ing ann's crazy addiction for bubble tea!

so if one day we ever get bored of each other

we will look back and remember how random and crazy we used to be =)

it all started with KOI

i never understood the craze of bubble tea

NEVER

one day me and my hall mates had some impt project presentation to MCYS people

we were in toa payoh

so to celebrate our success, all of them wanted to get this thing called KOI bubble tea

i never knew what it was - i just knew it was fa

mous overpriced milk tea

nonetheless i queued up mad long and bought me and ing ann two cups

even before we knew it, we were hooked - i swear it was the pearls

heres a photo of one of the many times we drank koi bubble tea

but soon after, both of us who are avid stalkers of xiaxue for cheap geeky entertainment (yes we have no life outside each other sadly) found her raving about gong cha

ing ann suggested the most preposterous thing, "LET GO GET IT!"

ok may i remind u how crazy this is cos ing ann has always struck me as a rational person and well for one, he doesnt drink SWEET stuff at all last time

but im always swept away by his rise for the occasion spirit *

dont ask why im just a follower*

soon we were hooked onto gong cha and its numerous pea

rls - there was the white pearl and the black pearl

heres a photo of our first gong cha - we were so proud we lifted our butts off his chair in clementi and drove all the way to novena

unfortunately, even as we celebrated it expansion into ps, the joy was shortlived as the quality was shoddy - no proper quality assurance

our loyalty soon dissipated

U would have thought we gave up,

but NO

we heard of eskimo from frens - we googled

it relentlessly to find out its branches

and tada! it was at dhoby exchange our usual date night location

we hunted it down and excitedly ordered the milk tea and dessert

and we were in love all over again - with the milk tea of cos not each other

if that wasnt enough, when we scoured nex for dessert (i gained so much weight with him)

we spotted this new tea shop apparently from taiwan

we saw the snaking queue and like all brainless singaporeans

we fell for it hook line and sinker - plus the camelia pink pearls with an eyecatching billboard announcing its health benefits

it was so great, we found our new love.

so thats the story of me and ing ann

we always wanna do something EPIC

we outperform everytime

from hunting for bubble tea

to eating the famous mellbon crab

to going for 2 movies in a day

sometimes i think its plain crazy

but most of the time im just so happy to be with him =)

thank you for tolerating me for 7months!

haha. and well! i was mega happy with his xmas present

that funny boy scoured coach and boasted to his frens about how he found the perfect present under budget cos of the sales!

just love the mint color! =D

and he finally rid of his AH TIONG NTU jacket cos i got him a new adidas jacket =D

2010-12-06T21:30:00.002+08:00

cos my friends complain that i dont blog enough...
here it goes!!!

im currently mugging in this mega northpole freezing cold styled seminar room in NBS (no wonder foreigners wear jackets in our seminar rooms even though they strut around with mini skirts in their countries during winter)
hurhur
anw this is going to be a mega random post so the thoughts may spew out incoherent

i was just thinking about alot of things
how i always cant seem to cope with stress
and well this semester couldnt get worst but somehow what helped was that actually despite alot of things, the friends whom u have will never change =) and i really mean that =)
there were things that warmed my heart immensely when i heard about it
i guess in a way even though there are things that go way wrong, theres really alot more in the flip side that u cant see

on another note, u know really competitiveness can make people stoop so low
i was way turned off this sem and i promise myself that i will work so hard ON MY OWN so i can prove to everyone that u dont need to do stuff like that to get ur first class
honestly its a big turn off

i honestly cant wait for holidays cos wells, theres really so much i wanna do and so many people i wanna catch up with =) i cant wait!

2010-11-07T21:57:00.001+08:00

one of the days where u feel really terrible and no one at all understands

2010-10-26T09:40:00.004+08:00

there are days i look into the dart room and really think about the old days how everyone used to dart together
i can still hear everyone's voices "check!", "down to 5", "dammit cannot check out!"
even as i run
i still remember how i was always lagging behind everyone
and slowly catching up as the frequency of runs increases

it breaks me apart from inside
i had no idea that the nightmare from exam period was still not yet over

sometimes i wish i could say im sorry and everything will be magically be alright
i will i was as strong as my frens but im not. i still miss everything
i still miss everyone

if i say sorry will it be sufficient? cos im really tired of fighting
im not as strong or as hard hearted as u think i am when i left

smtimes i wonder if i just totally give up
will someone just tell me what to do cos im just too lost 2nd guessing all the time

2010-10-24T22:08:00.003+08:00

dont be weak.
but i falter far too many times.

2010-10-23T01:36:00.002+08:00

tiredness and disappointment wells up
i dont think u understood as well
what i truly meant by nostalgia of a frenship, just a frenship without expectations
or changes for the better - does it really apply to everyone

i know my position
i have no right to judge or to complain
but i do perhaps have the right/inability to control the swell of emotions within me
ive always been a nostalgic person
i thought you might be able to understand or perhaps at least sympathise

but i think today, i finally really am ready to take the journey forward
it doesnt matter the destination, i guess ultimately its the journey that matters
i promised ing ann im going to try to be stronger
and i believe i will

2010-10-22T10:07:00.002+08:00

yesterday was one of the worst days of my life
im writing this here cos i as much as i will be putting down this baggage, i dont want ever to forget life lessons to me

when i confronted the person with a heavy heart
he said dont be too nostalgic
i stared on at the screen wishing it was all a lie
yes dont be nostalgic, cos he who said he still wanted to be best friends has no more use for a person who has no more value
he continued on to insist he still wanted to be frens
every bit of that half truth cut just as deep as a lie
even when he continued on to say he was interested in someone else and said that he has no right to force his feelings on her
i couldnt help but think back about just one year back when i told his i really treasured his frenship
he said its either all or nothing
even as i wrote hte words with a light heart, i cried for reasons i cant explain
prolly nostalgia i guess
i was disgusted at myself
disgusted for getting so hurt over a fren who has hurt me so many times over and yet not considering the feelings of ing ann who is the man i truly loved and hope to spend a future with
even as he continued to apologise for what had happened
the remorse feel belated, and at best rubbing salt on wound

im pretty sure he has changed alot for the better
he probably would make a very good fren to anyone else
im thankful for life lessons
i thankful i took one year to learn this lesson cos im stupid i need the hurt to sink in to finally get the idea
i dont blame him cos i only have myself to blame

even as the night grew old
i and a good old fren drove out to a semi jetty like place
and as i poured my disconnected thoughts to him
i controlled my emotions
he told me life is unfair
cos what did a cancer patient do to deserve what he did? or a down syndrome child?
and the silence that followed was defeaning
did i deserve to be treated this way by u from the start?
did i deserve to be the one always apologising about the relationship?
with a heavy heart i went back to hall
played truth and dare with frens
cos i didnt want to spill anything about my life
i drank 1 whole cup of alcohol
my head began to whirl very slow
but i was still conscious my head pregnant with thoughts
and even as emotions overwhelmed me in my semi srunken stupor, i controlled my tears cos i didnt want to cry over nothing anymore

this blog entry is entirely biased and im pretty sure people who are his frens will be happy
even as i and zh talked about relationships
i said smthing that i said to all my frens and heard so many times
" we must live better, we must love ourselves more, and treasure everything we have now"
i have ing ann, the best bf is the world to me, my roomie who flirts with guys while im emo talking with her (im joking), and really reliable frens that fly down just when i told them i need a ear

to you,
live well ive never seen u this strong, this independent
i will strive to live my life way better den the tattered mess uve seen me in
ill be a different person
i must thank u, cos u a life changing fren
i hope i never have to see u or hear about u ever again

2010-10-19T00:43:00.002+08:00

its quite sad how some ppl can promise the world and deliver nothing
i should have just let things remain the way they were and stop being sentimental
i will rid of that nagging feeling of what-it-was-like-in-the-past

2010-10-08T01:17:00.003+08:00

sometimes u can feel it breaking apart
yet u cant stop it
all u can do is make it worst

sometimes i get this de ja vu feeling back again
i think i should have known
maybe i already knew

sometimes its not that i dont want to believe
its just that sometimes it feels too fragile
and just too untested
thats why the moment the context has changed
smhow we get so easily innudated by it all

2010-09-29T22:12:00.002+08:00

vulgarities are just a sign of weakness most of the time

2010-09-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

u know what.
it may hurt like shit
and just crush my entire self worth
but u know what
at least i know that i didnt make the other party embarrassed like f on fb
i had at least that amount of respect for u

thanks for ruining EVERYTHING

2010-09-29T21:44:00.003+08:00

i rather let it be this way
let the whole world think im the bitch who let u down
i dont want to rely on anyone whose entire gang hates me
im not such an f-ing wimp
i have my own dignity
and im tired for living the way people want to live
just screw it la
if u wan to be a fren, be a normal fren
and not someone who forces me to do smthing that im uncomfortable with
havent there been enough damage

i know im an f-ing wimp for posting it up here
but at the same time at least i dont go posting it on fb

didnt i try to treat politely?
fml
every f-ing thing i do get f-ing judged
dont call me vulgar
i have every right to be

2010-09-29T21:04:00.002+08:00

sometimes. i feel that no matter how hard i try in hall
its like whatever i do is wrong
even though i had the most fruitful times in hall
i had the worst of experiences
whether it was politics, relationships or just work
and smtimes even when u sincerely try to explain urself, no one really listens
sometimes it just takes so much courage just to stand and pretend it doesnt matter even though ure crumbling inside
and all it takes for them, is to judge u

2010-08-07T18:00:00.003+08:00

after my internship - crazy crazy internship hurhur,
i guess i finally started to really start on the stuff i wanted to do
began with POWER STRETCH which was from a company that my brother goes for dance
i heard they were good and I really wanted to pick up something so I went to sign up
it was impulsive but i dont regret it
the first lesson i totally died - within 1/2h i was faint and dizzy
the aunties twice my age, some twice my size were still effortless in action while i retired
but they were mega frenly and encouraging
for 3 days, i couldnt walk down stair properly HAHA!
my 2nd lesson - my teacher said i was GOOD! yay! thanks to pilates + yoga!

i signed up for true yoga too!
and wow it was mega good. its not super strenous like powerstretch but each session is a great workout
TOTALLY enjoyed it! and im definitely going to go for more next week!

recently i went for scrapbooking with darling!
haha! the story about how he decided to join me is both sad and funny at the same time!
amazingly, he was actually MEGA good ok!
i must say that between my first draft and his.... his was WAY better
oh my gosh right?!
but of cos with the magic hands of our trainers, both of ours looked fantastic ok!
and we are going to exchange for our 3rd monthsary pressie!
it was really mega fun!
he secretly admitted to me that he was gian to do more!
HAHA! its fun ok!
anww! i got my daddy to sponsor my mega expensive next scrapbooking course cos i really loved it so much!

recently been slacking alot at YIA's place
watching liars game and all sorts of movies
somehow we can spend 25hours together in a day and never get bored of each other
HAHA. but I'm damm lazy - if I want to sleep, I want to sleep!
anyhows! its been a GREAT 3 months =)
my parents love u! his parents.. hmm.. i think they love me abit at least? =D
and hes always there for me - IM MEGA PAMPERED GF i admit

I spend alot this month but I guess ultimately, thinking about it, u live life only once!
I have spend my 3months working! So I should reward myself!
I know I'll regret it in the future if i don't enjoy myself now!
tata! here are the photos!

after the teacher has arranged the photos for us, need to take photo to remember! OR ELSE CONFIRM FORMAT CUI!

busy handling the sticky dots to stick all the stuff on!

THIS IS HIS MASTERPIECE! which belongs to me as a monthsary present! quite zai right! im so proud of him =D

This is mine! wanted a vintage feel! but cant find the patterned papers! so i made it bright and cheery instead =D

2010-07-23T23:35:00.002+08:00

sometimes the knowledge of being imperfect incapacitates u
makes u fear
and makes u believe that just like in the past...
ure really nothing much at all

on a brighter note
i signed up for power stretch
i shall be a rubber band (or a dead belly) by the time school starts!
PAWNS lihui and her almighty yoga!
haha - i am overspending the jingles fund!

thinking about it, ive never really got down to learning/doing smthing
i guess instead of talking about it, i should act on it =)

2010-07-12T20:39:00.002+08:00

i wish sometimes i was more understandable to others
or maybe. i just wished someone would understand.

2010-07-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

after all that has happened
the truth is
i am regretting every bit of my folly in thinking i was being nice and maintaining the frenship
it has been cruelty on my part
for my stupidity and sheer insanity
i apologise
sincerely from the bottom of the heart
i should have known it will turn out this way
i was too convinced by your words

i regret and blame myself for not listening to my frens harsh words to cut it off
i tot i was being giving
i was actually prolonging the pain

u were a person i trusted so much
and i think u can testify to that
but u crushed it time and time again
im sorry. but i dont think ill ever forgive and forget
cos everytime i was left to pick up the broken pieces when u left

i forced myself to smile when ppl teased us
cos i cannot tell them ANYTHING

im sorry im selfish
but when i saw i could have a chance at happiness
i immediately grabbed it
cos i was so tired of this emotional baggage i had to carry myself

u wont even know the internal conflict inside my heart
u know what, i think u can never comprehend how important it was to me

im sorry u cant forget
but neither can i

i think i will always carry that scar u left behind
but this time im really determined to move forward
im the person who has let u down
im sorry
but i really want to get away from the suffocated feeling of the past

im tired of being emotionally drained

2010-07-08T14:07:00.004+08:00

i had my 21st bday
many things that could go wrong, went wrong.
but well. u know im really glad i had my frens who stood there with me through it all
simone - thank you for going all the way just to get a battery for me. its only a simple bday and yet u did it for me. it really made me smile.
mas van fizz - HAHA. thank you for being my women slaves for the day. i owe u guys SUPER alot. seriously. dinner on me next time. i really feel very loved =)
darling - poor boy had to take the whole brunt of my emo-ness. lol! thank u for being there and sweating buckets for me xD

I will edit the other photos soon!

my stars screwed up a little
different classes from my normal frens
but u know the important thing i guess u really need to know what u want
i guess this sem i really wanna work hard and stop feeling unprepared when i go into the exam hall =)
meanwhile. looking forward to after internship! HURRAY!

2010-06-16T21:23:00.004+08:00

this is a long delayed post!
but anw! really like to thank my long suffering bf - yeo ing ann for sticking with me despite everything
u know my frens always say im a great girl fren but a nightmare gf
and i think thats super true

ever since nat and a whole slew of problems in hall
i guess i was always commitment shy
and whenever there was pressure from work, family or commitments
i always turned my back on the relationship
and even though it was always my fault, he always coaxed me back every single time

it is really the first time in a relationship that i actually felt so pampered
and so living for myself rather than for the other person
i felt liberated

its also nice in a way cos we are doing so many things together that i never did with my ex
1. brotherhood bday dinners - hurhur. so weird. i felt like some tai tai going with hubby for some career event at some attas eating place.
2. we go to henderson wave at whim - like i say, it would be nice to go there in the future! den he will say, den go lor! den we will drive there and walk through this mega thick forest just to reach the henderson wave panting3. his basketball matches and scream with his teammates about the good calls and bad calls and be his water girl - mega funny.
4. i visit his parents at his house and chit chat with them
5. he comes to my house to eat regularly. my mummy always ACCIDENTALLY cooked extra

haha. teaching him how to fold stars cos he dont know how to fold! while i camwhore!

pigging out at daily scoop after his basketball match

i have a million of unglam photos of u! u cannot break up with me now or ill release them all on FB! haha! this is during his bb match!

before tai tai gathering with his brothers.

saigang warrior! PEEL MY CRAB NOW! haha.

did i mention ill get fat with him?! i told him not to buy anything MORE after what i bought and den he go get chilicrab. we almost died from fatness.

i may not be the best girlfren
but i thank you for always staying around for me! =)
and me will try my best for u ok!
YAY! ok. im entitled to as many tantrums as i wish for this month right?!
haha!

ok thank you the rest for tolerating my mushy nonsense! once in awhile ok!

2010-06-15T21:40:00.003+08:00

sighs.
u know the worst thing is that ure not even entitled to be upset and breakdown
when the weight of everything comes crashing down

2010-06-08T14:14:00.003+08:00

its a random tot.
but i really miss how simple everything was back then
u live for urself
u dont judge
and dont stand to be judged
but everything has changed now.

anw. ill update with a happier blog entry later.
this is just a random tot to wrap up all the things that have happened

2010-05-22T09:04:00.002+08:00

its been a long journey
university that is
i have made so many so many mistakes that smtimes i cant even count them myself
i just felt i owe a dedicated apology to smone
putting myself in his shoes, i think i prolly would have gone crazy, hated and despised me

i know i do look like im going on fine
and i guess it might scare u since we were so much of each others life then
as much as it is not easy for u, it is not easy for me
there are days i wake up, berating myself for what ive done
the guilt gnaws at me till today
i know i haven let myself sufficiently grieve over it
its theoretically not correct
i just wanted to let u know, it was important to me while it lasted
i did really regard u as high priority
and i'll always feel a tinge of regret that i didnt do what was SUPPOSED to be right at that point of time
i guess if i did, life would have been alot easier for us now
im sorry, ive let u down

in the meantime, life buzzes on like a busy bee. smtimes i find it difficult to breathe if not for the fact that i have a caring bf next to me right now
thank u for being there for me too =)
and for my frens, thank you for not giving up on me and giving me the support to pull thru

2010-05-04T15:56:00.002+08:00

one word. busy.

after my exam tm
5th. date with roomie to conquer all the new shopping malls - that ulu girl haven go 313!
6th. meeting with committee members and hopefully drama watching with yia!
7th. watching movie with yia and moving out of hall!!!!
8th. presentation of our maxar event to youngchangemakers grant. give us money please! and evonnes party. in her words "its my post party clubbing event. how can bel not go". emos.
9th. iron man with xj?!
10th. committee meeting ALL DAY and den sponsor meetings. lethargic!
11th-13th. byebye singapore hello msia
17th. work starts

sighs. i actually really wanted to spend some fruitful time with my friends.
and family =(
but alright. i guess im geared for the challenge of minimal sleep and maximum pressure!
2.5 months i think =(
and den ill take a break!

on the other hand =) im really feeling quite excited about my bday - like finally
cos i dont know! i feel its like really remembering my life as i exist for like 20year and 364 days to be exact =)
and well.... thru it all, i really just suddenly feel so blessed to be standing here today!
im really looking forward to it =)
its exhilarating. i think i just feel that suddenly im living a new life =)

2010-05-03T17:00:00.002+08:00

i feel i dont deserve this. but let me relish the moment while it lasts =))

2010-04-07T12:15:00.002+08:00

its been a long time!
anw! just wanted to say im really very happy! cos i finally found like new frens in NBS!
u know all along ive been feeling so like upset in NBS cos i feel my clique feels and thinks im dumb!
yesh. so anw! my new frens are you zhi and ing ann!

ing ann is like this giant in my communications class!
den hes really very charismatic la! so i also dont know why he will talk to me
ok i know - cos im the class rep!
lol! but anyhow! we started talking cos hes really quite a nice chap!
and i think he realised im quite crappy and not all that cold as i look!
so its pretty amazing cos he really made me look at stuff from a different angle now!
i guess cos hes pretty optimistic! anyhows! its nice chitchatting with him!
makes me feel a little less anitsocial as i already am!

youzhi! haha. i also dont know why we talked!
oh cos we had this common fren. so we began to like ... hmmm. gossip behind his back?!
lol! yeah. so well. its really pretty fun. and hes super gentlemanly
well yep yep. i mean its pretty nice hanging ard him la cos hes not really like typical guys
lol who the hell ask ppl to go toilet with him when hes a guy!
ohmytians! haha
anw yeah. owe him quite abit la. he always help me with my projects, take me out for destress(or distracting) meals - paid by him! tians!

anyhows! there are some side issues la. like a certain someone getting a little upset!
but u know i really think they are just like good frens!
and well i just enjoy having this frenship with them as i do with all of u! =D
and it makes me happy to know theres just one additional fren out there who cares! u know? =D
yep!

ok. work has been bad. so i shall end here and start mugging my ass off.

2010-03-14T16:09:00.002+08:00

haha. u know i used to always collect these little snippets of like why relationships that are seemingly so perfect (i.e. Boy and Girl are so compatible go wrong)
and well. turns out whatever ive been hearing or conceptualising has some sense to it.
read this~!

KEY to a LIFE-LONG, SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with

your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their

idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely

natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's

why it's called "FALLING" in love. :)

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."

Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing,

and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and

spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together,

the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch

is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies,

instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with

every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the

initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry

subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start

asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of

the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone

else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is NOT finding the right person;

it's learning to love the person you found,

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for

fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby,

a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this

dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not

saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And

TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few

years later.

Because (READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY):

The key to succeeding in a

Relationship is not finding the right person;

it's learning to love the Person you FOUND. :)

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to

work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most

importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it

work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific

things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are

physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for

relationships. If you know apply these laws, the results are

predictable. Love is therefore a "DECISION". Not just a feeling.

REMEMBER THIS ALWAYS :

God determines who walks into your life.

It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse

to let GO!!

:)

and u know what! i absolutely agree.
i guess its like when ure truly in love - u can forgive, u can forget =)

and other one from hehshyang as i was quoting about how my mother loves to dig up the past and scold me like crazy
" woman - there is no such thing as writing off bad debt. its always in the current liabilities.
man - we always forgive and forget. everything is written off in the income statement"
haha! sorry for the deep undertones of accounting concepts
but yeah! i found that really true too!

anyhow. i guess in a way smtimes i just like to choose to ignore situations im in, so that i dont have to face them smhow.
but its just that smtimes i feel so overjudged by so many people already
u know i really feel smtimes even no matter what i do
ill be in the wrong anyway
so i just shall leave it as it is
im jaded with this fragile emotion that have broken the hearts of so many, reconciled so many

they say
everyone has freedom of choice
but smtimes it feels that im one of the few out there with little freedom to choose so that everyone can enjoy utilitarian benefits
sighs.
i rather be just simple at times.
but i guess this just sounds like mindless rantings to everyone else
so tata.

2010-03-09T03:14:00.003+08:00

=(
deep sighs.

2010-02-26T22:33:00.002+08:00

haha. oh my gosh.
i just chanced upon the most ridiculous thing ever. like really.
its this book i used to have between my church frens
me sara and esther

haha. how to say. we all fell out now in a very natural manner i guess
cos one of them(lets call her A) used to like my ex and my other frens (B) ex
who yup - as the story goes, were attached with us
so apparently, it was pretty bad
but she never told us
i guess thats how frens fall apart huh
they get attached

yeah. anw. back to the book.
its like between me and B
and well we kind of write to each other - we were young den ok! sec 3-4
and hah. it basically frames the whole story of how i and nat got together
cos u share stories with ur fren right?
and omgosh. i was MEGA childish.
lol. its almost humiliating to read

but i guess the takeaway point is, it was a very sweet memory. in the past in the present and perhaps in the future
lol.
and in a sad way, it reminds me of how time erodes frenship that u didnt invest enuf time and effort to keep.

2010-02-21T16:25:00.004+08:00

maybe im just too tired out from everything
but ill walk away feeling alright cos i tried my best
i dont need many frens. i just need those who really matter.

and these are some of them.
van bday was extremely enjoyable becos i was her designer! haha!
it was pretty funny cos we were like still preparing all the way till like backup manpower had to come over and save the day
and she loves our gift! HURRAY!
its a pretty camera we bots for her =D
oh my gosh! i have only been like seeing evonne and shuyi!
and i only meet like von in a million years for some reason =(
rawr!
and when i talk to shuyi, its always about HALL!
so well it was really great just to meet up with them all and gossips! heh!
well i couldnt stay over! but i had fun talking with them =)

well it made me think about alot of stuff
i know my roomie has said it a 1000th of times
but i just never really got it down into my numbskull head
"some frens, will always be great frens, no matter how little u all meet up. but the moment u all do, u just cant stop talking"
and well. while i have lost many frens, im glad to have known as many frens that would always been my GREAT frens despite how little we meet up =)
loves!

ah well! time to run the rat race =)
i must commend myself on being a little more hardworking this semester!
so lets keep up the momentum!!

oh! haha! recently ive been quite vain - erhems.
infected by the online shopping! cos everyone looks so pretty online and all know how to dress immaculately!
rawr! and ive been binge eating so much tt i gained weight!
so ive been moping in depression - yeah i know its stupid now =(
but u know! when i saw this SUPER beauty conscious guy senior hugging his chubby girlfren lovingly
i guess smtimes, its not that ure ugly. u just haven learnt to love urself enuf =)

but still. im going to run. humph.
and im not quitting online shopping. period.

2010-02-17T19:39:00.002+08:00

on hind sight. i must have been a nightmare to be with when i was reeling from my breakup.
lol.

HOW I MET UR MOTHER is pure joy to watch =D

2010-01-25T00:50:00.002+08:00

feeling utterly lost and down
and i think that is an understatement

just wanna go back to those simple times
i just feel that ive changed a little too much

2010-01-11T15:43:00.003+08:00

happy 2010!
haha. this post is a little belated. but nonetheless necessary =D

it has been a really really eventful year!
i almost cant believe a year has ended =D

as some of u may know, i had a BIG squabble with my dear roommate
which left me in a horrible shape
i felt like i broke up with my bf =(
i was quite a terror to be with during that period of time cos i always moped and wanted go home to sleep =(
lol but i guess its only when u have these kind of quarrels that u realise how much ur frens mean to u?
anw, i apologised to her in a dramatic fashion and all was fine =D
we had like a mega chitchat session on that day
unfortunately despite us being roomies, we dont really enjoy that often =( sads
but well! its good
shes smsing me abt little useless nothings again

which eligible guy wants my cute roomie? lelong lelong! xD

jokes aside
its barely two weeks into the semester and im beginning to feel the heat
in my attempt to start thing with a bang,
i decided to try deciphering my notes
to which my roomie says " dont be crazy. u know u wont last"
yeah i didnt. after trying to crunch numbers for a few secs, i went online window shopping =(

gosh.

anw =D my new year resolution is only one! to appreciate more! in all sense of the words. frens, family, studies (PUKES), teachers (please give me good grades this sem) and most importantly myself =D

alrights!
i really miss darts!
the adrenaline rush everytime u start the game and when it all abruptly ends (cos im not very pro, so usually the end is abrupt/unexpected)
i felt so horrible when i lost the last two matches cos we didnt get to semis cos of that!
and yeah. i guess its one of the things i felt i could actually contribute in =)
but im so glad that i MAY get to play again next year =D if i get hall that is =D
shall dart a little bit everyday =D

2010-01-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

happiness does not arise becos ur life is perfect
but cos u have chosen to look past the imperfections

i cant say ive done that
there are sooo many things i still wanna do
i still wanna be that perfect fren
still wanna be sociable
still wanna be capable
hardworking, enthusiastic...
or simply just being in touch

but i guess im still fine.
next sem will be better =) i will learn to juggle better =)
meanwhile. i will look past the imperfections and be thankful for what i have =)

it will be a GREAT 2010 ahead.
no more breaking down so easily. or whining over the littlest things. or belittling myself.
YAY!

looking forward for next monday. darts =D

2009-12-07T11:28:00.001+08:00

RAWR STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!
I DONT KNOW EITHER!
hai. stressed out enough.
sighs.

2009-12-05T16:16:00.002+08:00

i just went on an insane online shopping spree
its like as though im making up for this sems lack of shopping - last sem i shopped quite regularly
so anw - i found a better place where u can get ur loots!
its called cozycot!

u wont believe how insane i was. i went like checking out all the online posts
to see whether they sell the stuff that i missed online
for those who dont really online shop - ull be amazed at how fast the things sell out - i once wanted to buy this top from theshoplifters and i commented one hour after the launch. which i tot was quite impulsive already. but apparently the top sold out in MINUTES after the launch.
oh my freaking gosh!
anw anw!
i managed to get alot of things at a steal price! like a few dollars cheaper than the shop and they are brand new in package or at most worn once only! =) which i think really isnt a problem unless ure purchasing undergarments or smthing =)
super happy with my loots!
managed to get all that ive been eyeing the past few weeks =D

anw! loads of lazy wear for outings!
cant wait to head out for shopping!
on a more serious note - i need a part time job. ergh.
NO more shopping!

till den! cant wait to head out with all my frens! JIO ME FASTER FASTER!
im up for running, canoeing, swimming, shopping (gulps nervously), dinners, lunch, breakfast! xD
after no one jio me. ill be quite emos =((

2009-12-01T23:42:00.004+08:00

i suddenly realised xmas is coming!
haha! we should do smthing exciting this christmas! =)))

exam preparation has been fine so far
been relatively productive despite the long journey towards exams =((

just cant wait to restart my academic cycle
and plan roomies bday! ^^
till den! tata!

i dreamt that kedai kueh kueh (some competitor of bengawan solo) sponsored singapore idols and i got to eat their lovely odeh odeh
it was supperrrrr big and flat and had loads of the sugary stuff inside!
yums! it looked smthing like the one on top!

on a more emo note. sighs. i just cant wait for this nonsense to end.
seriously

2009-12-01T02:15:00.002+08:00

just suddenly inspired to blog
i realised how often i get too caught up with my responsibilities and studies
that sometimes i just forget/neglect friendships and just the little simplest things in life

i guess i really have to credit my fren for letting me always bounce off these little crazy ideas i have

i remembered my brother loving to watch the sunrise
and i never really fully got to enjoy in cos i was always such a lazy bum since young
and ever since den, i never ever had a chance to catch the sunrise/set every again

flying kites.
i read this when i was really young
and i pouted to my dad. why cant we fly kites like normal kids do - apparently not so normal in our era
and my dad got me this really colorful kite and we would go to this really big field with many ppl
and there were like SO many kites there
i even researched on how to make flying kites - or at least my daddy kind of tried to put in simple terms how the line was made - he said "oh they melt the glass and coat it on the string"
too young to know that we cant generate temperature hot enuf to melt glass den ^^
but never really got to fly another kite den

used to love going east coast beach with my cousins
climb the rocks and catch mudskippers!
we actually do catch them ok! and fishes too! ull be amazed how close they are to shore!
and dig really really big TRENCHES! and by e time we are done - the tides up =(

and simple days where we have long lazy meals stretching 1-2hours
now we just eat and go.

days where we will take a long stroll down new places
i rmb my dad used to keep asking me out to the park connectors
and i always brushed him aside - im busy, i need to study, i got an assignment due

i guess i missed too many things in life
i missed the time to be concerned about my friends
missed the time to be close to parents
and the time to really just be myself and everything

i think maybe it just occurred when studies became the central of my life
and the loss of him just made it worst i guess at that point of time

but wells maybe i will finally learn all these =) cos its really not too late! =)

2009-11-29T22:27:00.003+08:00

studying is immensely depressive
IMMENSELY
i screwed up this sem
period

BUT anyhow! i decided to blog a happy blog today!
about my incurable addiction
ONLINE SHOPPING!
tians. when ure stuck in hall
and u simply go out just to socialise and not to shop anymore,
online shopping is just the best!

while yeah its true u dont really get to see and try the quality
u get cheaper clothes that are truely what you like - i mean u dont like know what u want immediately when u step into a store cos they are all hanging on the hangers and you wont know how they look unless u try them on!
and unless u know ur taste well and will NEVER change ur fashion - ull end up normally trying many clothes
which seriously tires me out --> given the fact im a lazy shit =)

omgosh and i just love their models! so pretty. makes me feel like putting more effort in dressing up =)
haha!

These are some of the blogshops i LOVE!

bonitochico - they sell really really exclusive self manufactured stuff
and they have a really keen eye for fashion!
i always find myself oogling at the designs cos its just too pretty!
thankfully they are all too pretty and i dont think i can carry them off =((
and a little pricey! but nice to oogle at anyway!
and they have won best blogshop! beat that =)oh my gosh. i totally heart this top. its like in my fave colour its super super lazy =))

i just love the dress color - its like muted but the colors are just so pretty together. its just the perfect dress to wear out to town =))this dress is uberrr chic too! its like young and sweet even though its like a toga - i normally associate togas with matured ppl. hahaha. but yea =)

Hollyhoque is another shop that i simply love cos they have very casual fashion
unlike bonitochico that seems to go quite up class these days
hollyhoque stays true to their target audience with a fair share of tops and dresses
and their self manufactured stuff are just super nice =)
very laid back and wearable to school!

wanted to buy this cos its so lazy and chic! haha! i love the dulled color too!i bought this! cos its like my signature Vneck and long sleeve =) i quite dig long sleeve now. simply cant bother to bring jacket these days =))

haha. i would love to go on. but i have enuf break from studying!

OK love love! 8th of dec! lets go!

credits to bonitochico.livejournal.com and hollyhoque.livejournal.com

ALSO visit --> thestagewalk.livejournal.com, theshoplifters.livejournal.com, onepintplease.livejournal.com, myglamourplace.livejournal.com cos they sponsored me =P haha! i love theshoplifters the most!

2009-11-22T12:19:00.002+08:00

even god cant help the unprepared.
hai. i promise and i will study hard next sem
no more complacency.

i will be a regular contributor in group work
i will not pon any of my lessons despite how useless it may seem
i will be truly interested in my studies

im really a stark difference from my yesteryears
could see my parents were really disappointed in me =(

my daddy got a job =)
so everyone's quite happy now
my brother has a job too!
ernst and young! =) accounting big 4 =)
and we are due for a malaysia trip! SHOPPING DESTRESS here i come =)

its only 15 days. ure stronger den this.

2009-11-16T17:00:00.002+08:00

we always ask ourselves
what do we need in life?

i know for myself i cant do without frens
but ever since i entered hall and university
its like u realised the superficiality of it all
the frens u make in hall
they were never meant to last anyway
its like when u leave hall, they prolly wont even remember ur actions, ur likes, ur pet peeves etc
they might not even remember u

so the thing is. even if u try so hard.
its prolly not going to matter anw
i miss the times where i knew i didnt have to try overly hard
i just needed to be myself
i could be weak, hot tempered, insensitive - and even so, still obtain understanding from my frens

smtimes in here, i feel only valued for what i can offer
oh bel is good at being a business manager
oh shes quite responsible lar
oh shes quite helpful - always buy stuff for us
oh shes always around anyway
its like sometimes i wonder if i was just as good for nothing as i was in my younger years
would i even be appreciated here?

im sorry this is immensely self depreciating
but i guess its like an apt summary after some self introspection and observation
but after this i guess i know i should really just appreciate the people who care

and after all these while
even though the feelings are long gone
he was really the best i could have ever had
and no one else would ever be able to replace him

2009-11-05T00:20:00.002+08:00

i do realised i have been posting some immensely emotional blogposts online
anw i guess its time to reflect

well a series of events did happen this semester.
i was supposed to be in jcrc top 4
and there was quite alot holding me there since there was the need to feel useful in hall
and a certain girl fren who was in the team becos i was in too
but due to the fact i just simply felt i couldnt work with the team
i went thru a very emotionally draining decision process before i decided to pull out
at a very last min
and den our clan had some major issues with our cgl
i missed out alot on the clan cos i was really too tired to catch up with everything
yeah so the whole hall got embroiled in a whirlwind of politics
blackmailing. sarcasm. rallying others to vote against each other.
quite alot of bitterness
anyway, i got myself too involved in that as well

while i embarked on different portfolios
i guess i was trying way too hard to meet expectations
took many things on myself
and i guess in a way, i was feeling a little unappreciated

life was in a sense quite a mess for me
studies were really neglected
alot of last min work
alot of ponning of lessons
it was just a vicious cycle

but u know. while everything seems so horribly wrong now
i just am glad that despite everything - i still have friends
despite my neglecting of my clan, i found frens i can talk to =)
frens who care to talk to me and study with me
and people who have always been there for me
thank you =)

i will try my best. i will appreciate myself more. and my frens too =)

on this note =) all the best for exams =)

2009-10-29T16:13:00.003+08:00

wow. this is a struggle. futile struggle.

2009-10-10T01:35:00.001+08:00

maybe smtimes alot of decisions should have been decisively made a long time ago

i think smtimes. i really want not to care anymore

im tired of everything

school. hall. and my own ability to cope.

smtimes it feels good just to be on holiday.

2009-10-05T11:57:00.002+08:00

be happy!
stay cheerful!
it doesnt matter!
=(

2009-10-03T20:08:00.002+08:00

Marit Larsen - If A Song Could Get Me You

I could try with the waltz
I could try rock'n'roll
I could try with the blues
If a song would dig you

I could sing it high or low
When I let you go, you know
I thought it was for the best
Now it is so obvious

So here it is, here it goes
I could try it rock'n'roll
A change-your-life-forever-tune
If a song could get me you
I could make it high or low
Sing it on the radio
If that is what I need to do
If a song could get me you

I could run for miles and miles
I'd take off and I'd start flying
I could cross land and sea
If you'd just believe me

I should not have hurt you so
This old house is not a home
Without you here there's no use
I've got no time left to lose

So here it is, here it goes
I could try it rock'n'roll
Change-your-life-forever-tune
If a song could get me you
I could make it high or low
Sing it on the radio
If that is what I need to do
If a song could get me you

If a song could get me through
I'd sing my way right back to you
Tell me how to make it right
Tell me now, I'll start tonight
I know I could make it last

I swear to you that if I knew
What I was getting myself into
I wouldn't answer to my fears
I'd never leave you standing there

Just look at me

If you'd only see me
I would prove my love for you
I could swallow half the moon
Just tell me where, tell me when
I will have you back again

Yeah, here it is, here it goes
I could try it rock'n'roll
A change-your-life-forever-tune
If a song could get me you
I could make it high or low
Sing it on the radio
If that is what I need to do
If a song could get me you

So here it is, here it goes
I could try it rock'n'roll
A change-your-life-forever-tune
If a song could get me you
I could make it high or low
Sing it on the radio
If that is what I need to do
If a song could get me you

haha. reminds me of the past really =)
its really sweet. makes u ALMOST believe true love exist
u must listen to her. her voice is so endearing
as compared to the recent overwhelming in ur face lady gaga, black eyed peas etc etc =(
sweet

2009-09-27T01:32:00.002+08:00

i just not good enough for u smhow
i prolly just cant appreciate or accept what is in front of me
theres just too much past behind this "perfection"

2009-09-21T02:09:00.000+08:00

why issit so disgustingly hard to do a big project?

2009-09-20T02:17:00.001+08:00

wow. i never knew the essence of busyness

i tot i would be more free after taking on the decision of not running jcrc

now smhow.. there is jcrc backlog...

certain political issues that smhow i got embroiled in...

foc new ideas and plans...

maxar big projects...

which im all very excited over.

but the question is...

are u big enough to handle all those?

im finally beginning to believe that maybe im just one person after all.

and that reality really hurts

2009-09-07T18:16:00.003+08:00

refer to below post.
maybe i should really take a break from certain things that are adding load.

2009-08-14T09:41:00.000+08:00

actually. i think i really just want a break from this all.
really

2009-07-31T17:37:00.000+08:00

feeling abit low of late
recent spate of events that really made me rethink matters
these days smtimes i sit thru frens meetings and i really start to wonder - does it even matter whether im around?
even more so in the family
at recently at work - just left the company
its like this sudden sense of loss
i was kind of reminded painfully of the insignificance of it all when i contacted an old fren
its like u have frens that u dont have to contact all the time but u still feel like OLD frens when u finally meet up with them?
now its like the moment u dont meet them for an extended period, there goes the frenship
i guess i only have myself to blame

anyhows. amidst depressive thoughts,
im kind of trying to get my act together for FOC and hall life in general
i finally made the leap of faith to join JCRC again
but i just feel that i am running low on fuel
and on FOC side, i just dont know whether im ENTHU and YOUNG enough for it
ha. dont even know whether my juniors will like me ='(
but well! im going to make sure i do all i can to make the FOC a good one for them =)
alright. look forward to catching up with my frens soon!

2009-07-23T16:26:00.003+08:00

haha. i feel SO silly now
its like only one thing is resolved but i really feel damm relieved
its really smthing im going to look back on and really laugh smday
moving on!

i and my roomie are like excitedly talking over facebook, sms etc
laughs. its soo fun to be in different OGs
and we were like OMGOSH- complexion cui - cannot find cute freshies blah blah blah
ok thats her
i just get the kicks from reading their comments. check these out

they were asked to write smthing about themselves. Anything interesting. It could be your previous school, CCAs, hobbies etc. ok. i shall censor their names:

Hi =) (how is that anything interesting. i cant quite tell actually)

Grow up grow up,everytime i look up myself i throw up. Ha just kidding, didn't really knw what to write here...just a brief one then. Loves Sports. Loves Music. Loves hanging out and many many many many more. (really cool. i think i shall try to get this guy into my clan)

Random filler text. (good job. just leave it blank next time)

I have no idea, its usually the rest of the people who tell me who or what I am. So try asking my friends to know more. o.0 (OH MY GAWD. i do not want this guy in my OG)

I love ernie! (i hope its a girl. OH MY GAWD. its really a girl. skies. what kind of girls are there in this world today)

I'M FROM NANYANG JC. I'M A DRAGONBOATER AND I PLAN TO JOIN THE NTU DRAGONBOAT TEAM. I MAY LOOKED SMALL BUT I'M ACTUALLY QUITE STRONG! (hm. alrite alrite. we need strong guys. no need to justify.)

i am very very interesting & you will find out soon. haha (this sounds so wrong. haha. and its a GIRL! lol)

I am very hyper :) (uhuh uhuh. im very hyper too.)

I love fun :) (uhuh. who doesnt?)

alot of funnier ones but i shall not post them up! anw! sounds fun. cant wait to terrorise * erhem* i mean treat them with tender loving care ^^
lol!

ROOMIE! I LOVE U!
see i told u i miss u!

2009-07-21T21:38:00.003+08:00

i wish it was just so much easier to share the same feelings
but smhow it just crumbles apart everytime i tot its feeling right

anyhows i pretty unexcited to get back to school
facing an awful number of decisions that i jus wish smone wud help me make
but its impossible to believe an individual cant make decisions on her own huh
i guess im a little fearful of expectations
living up to them and giving more
its like u dont want to leave a blemish on what u have done so well previously and on certain issues, why i cant even put in a decent amount of effort to show im even trying

smtimes it just feels as though im living for the expectations of others
and yet it seems selfish not to live up to their expectations
and even if i fight it, i jus end up lost again, directionless without a directive

actually for the first time in my life i feel like i actually am bottling alot inside
i just dun know how to start and justify myself
cos i know all these while, i already went wrong

ahh wells. this is like an introspective blog entry
im not particularly emo or anything
i just feel super helpless
and schools starting
jcrc's finishing jobs are starting
foc is starting
decisions have to be made
and im still at the start point

on a brighter note ichiban boshi and udders tm! ^^

2009-07-10T12:00:00.002+08:00

its like sometimes i want to believe
but the fact is just plainly simply sitting there
we are two very different ppl wanting different things from one another
i just dont know why i choose to ignore that

2009-06-29T17:08:00.002+08:00

belicia has just got herself unpaid ot
lol. its retribution for slacking at work.
skies. have to cancel frens outing =(

haha. i just had the simplest bday celebration but it was really sweet
thanks to my dear fren hehshyang =)
shall update another day

meanwhile... thank u everyone.
bimbos who surprised me totally
jingles who smsed really sweet stuff
my MOH buddy and chocolate buffet
some little boy =)

belicia is getting brainscrewed at work in the meantime =(

2009-06-22T09:48:00.002+08:00

haha. ok. dammit. im slacking at work again. but who cares..
yay! im so excited! jingles finally confirmed an outing!
anw! lihui was saying we should have a theme for that night!
and i think its pretty cool
except for the fact that it prolly means i have to change out cos my company is quite strict on dress codes =(

im thinking of color codes or theme based!
color code -
everyone chop one color and dress that color! i want BLUE! (theres red, blue, yellow, green, purple, white)

theme based -
young-sters (dress cutesy cutesy - yingchern will just fit the bill),
clubbing (i will get killed at work),
beach wear (flowers prints!),
hip hop ( i DEFINITELY have to change out) etc!
haha! lets vote!
and lets TRY to put make up alrite =P
SHUYI i dont care - we will bua lihui's make up on u =P

alrite. im so excited. plus there is bimbos outing!
i cant wait to meet those crazy girls and bridge!

^^ my dear fren is watching transformers with me!
happy happy!

2009-06-17T21:26:00.003+08:00

im in a very lazy mood now so i shall just post a few photos of my trip =)

stong was again another new experience i guess =)

its like smthing u just have to try once in ur life =)

im very apologetic to lihui and von for being quite a burden

cos my sandals were super cui and i kept slipping and just being very lousy with helping out =(

bleah

and since i was like naturally not very photo-frenly

i usually just slack around and see them take photos

but u guys were great company alrite =)

i appreciate u all attending to my nonsense =((

and im sorry i like keep sticking with him

he isnt usually that nice in real life so i must treaure it more right? xD

anw. thank u =)

u really made my day =)

for the person who always complain i never blog abt him. nah la nah la =P

to my frenly clique that i have imposed on terribly much =)

i dont want to lie to u

if u knew that there isnt going to be an ending to this

are u still fine with it?

2009-06-13T11:55:00.005+08:00

haha. ok. i should have at least a decent post before i leave for stong

anw. i would first like to talk about the stayover with the jingles

its quite fun!

lets introduce the members

lihui - the greedy. see how much food she hogs

evonne the lazy who is ALWAYS late. at her worst - 3 hours

shuyi- the person who always gives the spotlight to others. but always kajiaos me mercilessly =( in her words. im a joke =(

simone- straight forward frank person who is always ready to photograph us =D the PRO-grapher

yingchern - sweet nice little girl that will melt the heart of guys! haha! xiao mei mei that want to take care of ADULTS like US xD hahaha.

the bday girls lihui and yingchern

two cute angels (whoops. im sorry. one only. lihui doesnt qualify anymore =P ) making their wishes

blows the candles

lihui face of horror when she realises that the bday cake should not be cut entirely or else ure like "cutting" off ur wishes upon which she quickly shoves the cake to me to cut -.-
haha! this is such a cute stuffed toy lar! loves! mone im going to DROOL on it and ull have to give it to me! muahahaha!

alrite.

erm. i found a job finally! its like this internship at an imageworks!

its an image consultancy - i wonder why im there

well my boss is a fantastic lady but with high expectations

she intimidated me alot at first

cos she was like so skeptical about me and my abilities

so she was like ure on trial basis only and we cant lengthen ur time here

but actually shes really nice

she teaches me etiquette - skies i have to arrange my teacups in a certain manner

she wants to pass me clothing and a makeup set

she even lent me a book "how to be like women in power"

she gives me alot of duties like designing publicity materials, drawing up detailed roles and responsibility (dammit, its pay back for slacking in OB), marketing plans (for slacking in marketing as well)

i even became a model for their makeup lessons

haha wow. they are really zai - the day make up makes u look like a photoshopped classy individual, the night make up makes u really look like a party animal

laughs! i wished i had the photos to show u guys!

anyways! im going stong soon! tata! loads to update my frens!

im happy! i finally cleared my sms backlog!

and heh shyang contacted me for birthday date! happys! xD

2009-06-12T15:03:00.000+08:00

somehow. it is an inherent tendency for men to want to play with fire
even thou they know that it would hurt them anyway

2009-06-10T17:12:00.000+08:00

im officially brain screwed.

2009-06-05T22:13:00.003+08:00

hai. just tell me the truth already.

thank you for the memories

i told u it will turn out this way. didnt i?

2009-06-05T19:03:00.003+08:00

i always selfishly wished i was a little bit more important to u

but its a wish i know will never come true

i was never good enough

or significant enough

life has been pretty much quite exciting

ranging from getting grounded

meeting new frens at stongs briefing

touring joshua's waterfront condo

having long chitchats with old pals

sewing pclan photoshoot attire

going for interviews - skies. ive lost touch with interviews

getting a trial job offer

catching up with really OLD cpf frens

baking with mas and van

i guess i really have done what i wanted to do this hols
-JUST LEFT WITH CANOEING!

so now its just really down to doing well in my trial job offer

haha i got like a demanding boss who says she'll like hire me on trial first
and den see whether im up to it

and den ill be her personal erhem! saigang erhem! assistant

lol. but i guess it will be quite an experience to live up to her expectations

cos im apparently supposed to draw up her organisational charts, contacts lists, contact her clients etc

so well! hopefully i do well! =)

meanwhile, jingles! i miss u guys!

hahaha! cant wait for the stayover which i haven got approval yet! =(

skies!

lihui... we should really start running, gyming and swimming!

date me date me! xD

if not i have to run with my crazy cgl who is always super busy =(

von me and hehshyang after the run! happys! =)

2009-06-01T20:59:00.002+08:00

skies give me a job before i commit suicide from my controlling parents and brother

im so desperate im hoping fervently i actually get the job offer as a sales assistant for some branded watch company that prolly will get me to work 6 days a week

i wish smhow i could have a little of my own space smhow =(

2009-05-27T00:37:00.003+08:00

ahh! finally get to meet my sweetest jingles! hahaha

and it brings much fond memories thinking about how that name originated xD

laughs.

anws! there were news of bankrupt individuals, fascinating love plots and happy endings etc

but what can we expecting coming from my very attractive group of frens eh? xD

lolx! we ate at marmalade parlour

its like this nice classy restaurant very catered to females cos cheap alcohol and cheaper bills

stayover next! excited!

the prettys with their drinks

lihui the smart focused on the flower resulting in us being in blur and the flower in focus xDtake two - attempts to look sweetly at the camera

the RIGHT way to handle cutlery

prays before eating my only course for the day =) new york cheesecake

advertisement for marmalade parlour!

tired but happy girls!

in a fancy toilet. now u know why ur girlfrens are taking so long in the toilet =p

i wish i didnt have to complicate matters as well

but u wouldnt believe me, would u?

yeah everything is uncertain

but one thing's for sure, u make me smile more den once in awhile =)

if only i was ever good enough for u,

mum.

2009-05-20T18:23:00.002+08:00

gramps just passed away

it hit me like a bullet

how sudden how simply someone's existence can simply erased by a snap decision

and since i was already quite affected by existing issues, i was hit quite hard

dashed out to take the train to outram

only for mum to say its impossible to see him

i felt horridly helpless

and blindly followed the crowd

i ended up calling my hall fren

i must have sounded horrible cos he rushed out to meet me

but otherwise the day turned out great

i had curry rice and rojak (my new comfort food)

we went shopping at courts, fairprice, shop and save- smhow we always end up shopping for household items

truly, thank you

it meant so much more than just a meeting

2009-05-19T23:55:00.003+08:00

haha im entirely detesting the freedom of hols

ok. i guess im born workaholic so i cant really stand boredom of any sort

but wells i guess if all goes well i may get a job at NUS after all =)

should they have job vacancies >.<

anw! other den that i did really relish my meetins with frens

met with my nice old hall fren

and we were bouncing pickup lines off each other randomly

he won hands down though

how do u beat this

" when i see u, i see a trap i cant help falling into"

it felt nice cos we simply just did what we wanted to do

like "oh. lets eat lunch!", "oh lets watch movie den eat dinner!"

and haha! that picture above is some cute heart shape thing that i was saying looks super pretty to eat and i dont mind having for bday present

and that guy just simply BOUGHT it. skies

but it tasted super gd cos it was like raspberry sorbet icecream inside!

and b4 u guys get any romantic ideas, he ended with a smirk, " now i get to save $ on ur bday present"

went out with bimbos!

it was great except we missed tallie alot! =(

mas! get well soon!

its nice hearing cy just talk about her new exciting story plots

fizz with her bimbotic moments - ur appetite is still poor

van being just her- good listener

ok. we must BRIDGE. we must. we waited for one whole sem for this mannn xD

its hard to forget

even harder to move on

smtimes giving up the present, so that i can recall how it was in the past

2009-05-18T10:02:00.002+08:00

hahaha. skies.

im so super in love with taylor swift songs

they are so fairytale like!

kind of injects more hope into jaded people like me!

this is so cute!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZByLvUWzts

2009-05-12T23:54:00.004+08:00

ok i think i owe myself an update on hokkaido
its a beautiful place for ppl who like to RnR and for couples
for me i wud say i loved it
but i still love singapore =P haha. have u ever eaten 15 dollars icecream? yeah. this is one has like all the goodness in the world. its like ahhh and den omgosh. heavenly xD

hokkaido contrary to belief, has the most fattening food in the whole of japan

1. inspired by my boss my hero where the protaganist goes thru great lengths to get a pudding, i decided i must try a pudding too! and i must say. looks doesnt always translate in actual taste. but it tastes classy =P
2. ice cream cheesecake.
3. cheesecake that literally melts in ur mouth
4. mango icecream with caramel drizzled on it
5. lavender icecream. light vanilla feel to it
6. grape and corn icecream - they have practically any flavour u think up of. we even ate sakura blossom icecream!!
7. ricecake cheesecake
8. strawberries! best ive tasted!
9. melon bun! its really like melon! its green outside and orange inside! im a sucker for these kind of things

1. ishiya magical land. its like a mini disney
2. asashi beer factory. beer beer and more beer.
3. some commercialised street for rich ppl. LV prada gucci u have it all. blockade permanently for the road
4. some smoking mountain
5. yet to bloom lavander fields
6. SAKURAs!
7. lake!
8. green house!
9. ice cream parlour
10. cheesecake farm
11. snow capped mountain
12. icecreeeaaaam!
13. macdonalds. they have MACPORK! SKIES!

its like wanting something u cannot have

and hurting others in the process

when have u become so selfish, belicia ong meiling?

2009-04-27T00:14:00.002+08:00

ppl are forgettable
but i always prided myself on having an incredible flair for being forgettable
i knew it would happen smhow

hello cold cold hokkaido in 2 days
maybe i'll be happier there =)

to my dear roomie
if ure reading this, u should be studying and not online shopping! laughs
thanks for being such a lovely roomie all these while
while i was packing my stuff i was like... gosh. i miss my roomie!
i will be spending many lonely nights without u =( cries!
thanks for always being there for me when i needed u =)
i couldnt have had a better roomie
and yesh. pls give me more of ur time next sem ok? =P

2009-04-15T21:16:00.002+08:00

currently very addicted to these songs

1) nobody but u - wonder girls

2) taking back my love - enrique feat ciara

hmmm

ure so clueless that u make me cant get angry at u =)

even though i try very hard all the time xP

There's always going to be another mountain

I'm always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

-The climb by Miley Cyrus =)

2009-04-09T02:12:00.005+08:00

i used to know whats wrong whats right

so it was

abstain from whats wrong

and do whats right

im finding it harder and harder to judge whats wrong whats right

what to do and what to abstain from

validifying myself with weak excuses

and comforting myself that i will be forgiven

is this really right? is this really ok?

clearly

i have lost every fragment of conscience that i used to possess

this has to end

smhow

2009-04-04T12:15:00.002+08:00

its like getting angry at a child who just spilt milk on your clean floor

it just doesnt work

maybe it was just me at fault.

i wish it didnt have to be so complicated.

2009-03-31T12:54:00.001+08:00

ive done the smthing stupid.

2009-03-31T10:21:00.002+08:00

I feel as though im on the verge doing smthing stupid

its just so simple to do foolish things

and dismiss it saying that we were all too young to understand the consequences

dont be foolish

im very blessed. i really am.

smtimes it just feels wrong to be this fortunate

like im not entitled to be

LIHUI STOP IGNORING MEEEE =(

running? swimming? mugging?

i miss u!

shouts towards hall of residence 15!

2009-03-25T00:37:00.002+08:00

seriously

this is the most depressing stage

this always has to happen once a sem

at least huh?

its almost like the conflict in every movie

for a fictious climax

bah.

im sorry. this is my only outlet.

2009-03-20T16:45:00.000+08:00

everyone should watch this =)

its only 12 mins!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy0HNWto0UY&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fforums%2Ehardwarezone%2Ecom%2Esg%2Fshowthread%2Ephp%3Ft%3D2307296&feature=player_embedded

2009-03-18T22:29:00.006+08:00

the grand hall anniversary

we were in the decorations team

i couldnt say how frustrating it was cos everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong

and we were tired burnt out

but the end result was just spectacular!

backdrop -- disney inspired! La Nuit Magique -- A Magical Night

the front banner dreamworks inspired. it gave us seriously alot alot of headache drawing the SMALL boy and the BIG moon but it was pretty! Nice silvery and black balloons! and the RED CARPET!

the transistion into the magical world =) with balloon sculptors creating a scene! xD

our colorful jcrc members! i was called the little pink fluffy thing by dear yingqing cos i was easily spotted by my color -.-

biz mag psychos the jcrc to pose with her sponsored items! FNN!

the goody bag as a fashion item!

the hockey girls! we look good outside our sports attire too alrite?!

me and my kind president! who has given me alot of advice and helped me alot all these while! what will i do without u!

my dear partner in crime for hall anni! i must say her drive really kept me going =) thanks dear!

i will really really miss all these.

u know how cindrella will always wish that the clock will never strike 12

and how we never wished we knew santa didnt actually exist

i had always wished this wouldnt happen

but it does

it always does

dont break this fragile balance

i dont think i can take another loss

2009-03-17T02:18:00.002+08:00

haha! this is evonnes idea!

but this entry is dedicated to you you you and you, yingchern darlin!

on ur happy happy bday!

i decided to take this super old photo cos its so nostalgic!

remember the days we would used to compete who will get a flat stomach and less flabby arms soon?

or the days u will drag me and simone to toilet together?

or the days we will moan about our maths and the lack of understanding for it?

how we would laugh at each others childish ethics

u would baby me alot even thou im taller den u! xD

and pat my head as thou im years younger den u!

and we would love to go to stall 8? (wanton stall?)

complain about drink stall auntie

and den later realise shes not that bad after all when we are leaving anderson

how i and u will break down

and we get all flustered cos we dont know what to do at the sight of tears

but smhow smwhat we will always be there for each other?

well. its just been so fun with u

that smhow when u really went away

it didnt seem that real for awhile

anw! on this very special day!

i just wanted to say how much all these memories meant to me!

dear yc! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! =)

2009-03-10T13:17:00.002+08:00

my senior recreational dir. hes like a very interesting person to talk to!

my supper fren! except that pretty girl there. shes just my bestest fren in hall! other den roomie!
haha. yesh i know i shouldnt take photo with pageant queens. but haha! this is a nice nice photo xD yay! i loves her many many!

anw. that was our play, interim seraphim.

it was erm. not fanastic as compared to RJC plays

but it was a musical thing

so it was pretty cute!

anw. work for me has been just crazy

my hell week was barely over

and this week is hell for jcrc

im in the decorations team and its driving me nut

im not a creative person but im forced to think of cheapo alternatives to decorate the whole area

im thankful for yingqing who has been like my greatest source of encouragement to continue to drink that awful red bull to cheong the work

while everything that could have went wrong just went wrong

we learnt very quickly i must say =)

on another note

im very grateful for my frens in hall

i have this really cute guy fren who like smses me 3 times in a row cos i didnt reply

oh and cos i was telling him about my NBS fren

whom i asked " hey! can help me buy some yum yum to eat"

which just literally meant some nice food to eat

he bought for me like 2 cups of the meiji yan yan -.-

so he bought me 2 cups of that too!

in exchange he wans secret recipe

laughs

and we get all excited talking about going to msia for cheapo food

yingqing who just really motivates me to continue working hard for hall even thou we are all so burnt out

my president with his never ending lame pick up lines and perverted passes at all the young girls

skies.

what will i do without these ppl =)

2009-03-07T23:22:00.003+08:00

omgosh. i was like looking for photos to make me happier and i found this!

skies!

its like too pretty to drink! xD

gosh the world is becoming decadent these day!

i went to kopitiam and asked for take away kopi in a very ahmah voice

only to get my kopi in a very nice cup with corrogated paper around it!!

how ups! i instantly imagined the logo of starbucks on the corrogated paper and felt a tad un-CLASSY =(

its like saying sorry and feeling apologetic from the bottom of ur heart just doesnt count anymore

cos nothing that i say or do can change anything

i was just looking at my store one day

and the mountain of sponsored items

and it made me just smile despite the overwhelming tiredness

and think back and just look at how much i have changed

2a.m sleeping habits

cup noodles and supper

drafting out endless lists of sponsorship letters

hunting down for sponsors like spying on other halls and ccas

currying favour with sponsors and pushing my luck with quantities

endless phone calls to sponsors

coffee coffee coffee and redbull

signing the sponsorship letters (oh. i just lovee the fact that under the price column, they type FOC)

and just times where i just wanted to break away, flare up, break down at the futility of it all

and yet i just dont know how to live without this

i cant

i just cant imagine life without thinking about how else to get my sponsorships

how to get the BEST goody bag

how to make the BEST event

i will miss all these terribly

i will miss all the ppl i worked with

i will miss everything. everything.

2009-03-04T02:05:00.001+08:00

im tired.

thats an understatement.

its like the sweet relief that washes over me

i wish i had just had the time to appreciate it

and thank everyone out there who have supported me thus far

2009-02-25T05:59:00.005+08:00

smtimes. running away is much easier.

2009-02-19T02:07:00.002+08:00

MY dear SHUYI! i still love u alrite!

dont judge me cos of my lack of sms to u on ur bday!

i solemnly vouch never to do that again!

laughs

on a lighter note!

life has been alot more optimistic looking

with key exams over, jcrc stuff looking to finish soon, great great frens...

yep and basically just taking things more lightly

my fren was amusing

he sent me a studio photo of my eye candy!

laughs! my gosh!

i almost laughed to death when i saw the email

the thing is that i always joke about the person being my eye candy but i never actually meant it

skies! these little things really really brighten my day

cos it feels as thou ure just young and foolish again x)